Life Uncommon - Some words from a woman I love

As I am going on vacation for 10 days ( Santa Barbara, Los Angeles and Chicago), I decided to drop a few lines here before I go. And I couldn't finish the year better than writing a few words from a woman I really love...


"It says that I have an ideal for who I'd like to become, that I have a standard I'm striving for," she notes. "And that having a standard is a lonely thing, because it's nobody's task but yours, a standard that you have to try to rise to constantly." - Jewel

Life Uncommon

Don't worry mother, it'll be alright

And don't worry sister, say your prayers and sleep right

It'll be fine lover of mine

It'll be just fine

Lend your voices only to sounds of freedom

No longer lend you strength to that which you wish to be free from

Fill your lives with love and bravery

And you shall lead a live uncommon

I've heard you anguish

I've heard you hearts cry out

We are tired, we are weary, but we aren't worn out

set down you chains, until only faith remains

Set down you chains

And lend your voices only to sounds of freedom

No longer lend your strength to that

which you wish to be free from

Fill you lives with love and bravery

And we shall lead a life uncommon

There are plenty of people who pray for peace

But if praying were enough it would have come to be

Let your words enslave no one and the heavens will hush themselves

To hear out voices ring out clear

with sounds of freedom

sounds of freedom

Come on you unbelievers, move out of the way

there is a new army coming and we are armed with faith

To live, we must give

To live

And lend out voices only to sounds of freedom

No longer lend out strength to that which we with to be free from

Fill your lives with love and bravery

And we shall lead a life uncommon

I am so happy! :) And I will tell you why

I'm so happy!!! :))))))))))

As I told, I decided to spend my 13th. month of grace in San Francisco, that beautiful city where I left my heart. Well, what I didn't tell is that my dear friend Roberto is probably coming to San Francisco in July! Yes!!! I finally could convince him!

I am very happy - we are quite siblings, so friends we are!
And the idea of living in my beautiful San Francisco ( even if it is for just one month) fills me with joy!!


I am also happy because two friends of mine were asked in marriage in this last Christmas day! :) Isn't that romantic? ;) They are Brazilian au pairs and they found their soul mate in this part of the world. I just feel so happy for them! :)


Soninha and Samantha: congratulations!!! I hope I can see your wedding!! :)))



While all this happens in other people's lives, I continue my way..... alone, and struggling to find my path in this crazy world.... and, every day, coming even more to the conclusion that I am not....let's see... not very "normal", kinda of "peculiar"... and so it is going to be my fate.
But, hey! This is not meant to be sad! In fact, and by the very contrary, it's a way of peace in mind. I see my path as a long, straight road, under green trees leaves.... it's a way of peace and happiness and, most of all, FREEDOM.


Oh, well.... I've been taking life so less seriously since I arrived here! I finally learned how to laugh from the situations and I think I am handling well when I am in pain. Now, when I feel sad, I just go out for a running, for a bike ride.... and then, back to sanity and happiness and peace of mind!! Yeah, exercising is a good way of keeping your sanity when you feel that the whole world is going crazy.


Oh, and besides that, I am also going well in my German studies ( I guess....). Well, "well" is not a good word to define it, but as I am a very optimist person, I assume that I am going well... hehehhehee :))))



Estou tao feliz!!! :))

Eu decidi passar o meu 13o. mes de "graca" em San Francisco, aquela linda cidade aonde eu deixei o meu coracao. Eu acho que eu jah disse isso. Bom, mas o que eu nao disse eh que o meu querido amigo Roberto provavelmente virah pra San Francisco em Julho! Ehhhh!!! Eu finalmente consegui convence-lo!!!

Eu estou muito feliz - nos somos quase irmaos, de tao amigos que somos!
E a ideia de viver na minha linda San Francisco ( mesmo que seja soh por um mes) me enche de alegria!!

Eu tambem estou feliz porque duas amigas minhas foram pedidas em casamento no dia de Natal! :) Nao eh romantico? ;) Elas sao au pairs brasileiras e encontraram suas caras-metades nesta parte do mundo. Eu estou tao feliz por elas!!! :)

Soninha e Samantha: parabens!!! Eu espero que eu possa ver o casamento de voces!! :)))

Enquanto tudo isso acontece na vida das outras pessoas, eu continuo a minha jornada... sozinha, e lutando pra achar o meu caminho neste mundo louco....e, a cada dia, chegando cada vez mais a conclusao de que eu nao sou.....vamos ver... muito "normal", um tanto "peculiar" .... e assim tambem serah o meu destino. Mas, ei!! Isso nao eh pra ser triste! Na realidade e bem pelo contrario, eh um caminho de paz de espirito. Eu vejo o meu caminho como sendo longo, uma estrada reta, debaixo de arvores de folhas verdes... eh um caminho de paz, felicidade e, mais que tudo, LIBERDADE.

Oh, bem... eu tenho levado a vida tao menos a serio depois que eu cheguei aqui! Eu finalmente aprendi a rir das situacoes e eu acho que eu estou levando numa boa quando eu estou sofrendo. Agora, quando eu me sinto triste, eu simplesmente saio pra correr ou pra andar de bike... e entao, volto a sanidade e felicidade e paz de espirito!! Eh, se exercitar eh uma boa maneira de manter a sua sanidade quando o mundo todo parece estar ficando louco.

Oh, e alem disso, eu ainda estou indo bem nos meus estudos de alemao ( eu acho....). Bom, "bem" nao eh uma boa palavra pra definir isso, mas como eu sou uma pessoa muito otimista, eu presumo que eu estou indo bem..... hehehehhee :))))))

Do I scare people???

Do I scare people? Why??? Can anybody tell me?

San Diego - more pictures

The Zoo and Sea World..... Enjoy!

My plans for the near future

Ok. I feel kinda of lost. I think I am going to run a little bit. It doesn't matter it's late. I need to refresh my ideas. I am kinda of lost today. Well, I have to re think some plans. I still have the same plans, but I need to figure out how to make them reality.

Ok. Let's go to the plans:

1- I will go backpacking. Fine. First question: where do I want to go? Second question: For how long? Yeah, I know the answer for both of them.
I just need to figure out how to get the money to start it. Hummm..... I am thinking about using my 13th month of grace in the US to get some money.... that is a possibility. I also can live at USP in order to save money. Then, all my money would go to the trip. I am planning to start my backpacking by August/2007. This is really important to me.

2- Ok. This is more difficult. How to get started in movies? Hummm.... I was thinking... What do I want to work with? First, let's start with documentaries, because then I will need less resources. Other kinds of movies will require more money. And I can use what I learn in university to say something consistent, not just the usual bullshit I always say.... ehehhehhee

Hummm.... as almost everybody knows, I want to make animation, too... but I have a little problem: I don't know how. I need to find someone to work with me, with the drawing, and stuff like that. I also need to learn how to work with effects and so, in the computer....there are lots to learn...oh, boy, where do I start???
Humm.... I think the college classes may help me in many ways... I am with hope that I can learn a lot and from there, from the first step, start developing something. And I will get to know other people involved with that, too.

I have been having some ideas.... hummm.... i've gotta find someone who draws... I can start by doing something by myself. Yeah.... maybe that is a step. I already have something in mind...

The problem is this: I have lots of things in mind! I just don't know how to get started.... ! Anyways, this is a problem I will overcome ( I hope!) !

hun-hun... that is it.... let's see if I am brave enough to go running in the dark and in the cold now.... hehehehee

San Diego

Hey....San Diego was pretty cool! We stayed at a nice hotel ( Hilton) and there was a good exercising room there and a pool.... it was nice!

I had a lot of fun with the family! We stayed there for 2 days: we went to the San Diego International Zoo, on Monday, and to Sea World yesterday. Cooooooollllll!!!!!!!!


I made some short movies with my camera - I shot the whale's presentation (Shamu) and the Dolphin's presentation ( they are so cute!). But I think this is not possible to be posted here. I have to find another way to show you.... oh, well, let's do the following: if you want to see the short movie, send me an email, letting me know. Then I will send it to your personal email address, ok? My email is mtginaba@yahoo.com.br


Hey.... San Diego foi muuuito legal. Nos ficamos num hotel bem legal ( Hilton) e tinha uma sala de ginastica lah e uma piscina.... muito bom!

Eu me diverti muito com a familia. Nos ficamos lah por dois dias: nos fomos pro Zoologico Internacional de San Diego, na segunda, e pro Sea World, ontem. Muuuuuuito looooooco!

Eu fiz uns filminhos com a minha camera digital - eu filmei a apresentacao da baleia (Shamu) e a apresentacao dos golfinhos ( eles sao tao lindos!). Mas acho que nao dah pra colocar aqui.... eu preciso achar um outro jeito de mostrar pra voces.... ah, vamos fazer o seguinte: quem quiser ver o filminho, me manda um email. Aih eu mando o filme pro email de voces, ok? Meu email eh mtginaba@yahoo.com.br

And so this is Christmas ( Entao eh Natal)

And so this is Christmas... better saying, this WAS Chritmas.... and, as the song says, What have you done?
I had time enough to think about what I have done. No conclusions at the end, though. Like always. But I think that, in the end, the balance was positive. Very positive.

Would you be able to tell how you were in the beginning of the year and how you are now? Would you be able to tell what has changed in you? Are you the same person as in the beginning of 2005? I bet not. I hope not.

I am not the same. But this everybody already knows. I don't know if, this year, I helped as many people as I could have. I don't know if I have dried as many tears as I could have. I don't know if I helped to bring as many smiles to people's faces as I could have. Have I helped to make the world a little better? Have I done as much as I could? I don't know.... but I will try again next year.... I will keep on trying. I hope in the end the balance will be positive.

This Christmas was kinda of sad for me. This was the first time I was far from my family in Christmas. I kinda of "love Chritmas" .... and, being far from my mom, was hard. I realized that the magic of Christmas for me is the presence of my mom. This year Santa didn't come... I missed being at home, with my grandma, brother, aunt, cousins, uncles... But, that is ok. As I said, in the end, the balance was positive.

I can tell that. By the way, I spent Christmas Eve in a friend's house and the 25th with my host family.

And you? What can you tell me? How was your Christmas? Did you have time to think in anything else but presents and X-mas dinner? Or where you would go after X-mas? What did you think about during this holiday?


Entao eh Natal.... melhor dizendo, ERA Natal.... e, como diz a musica, O que voce fez?

Eu tive tempo suficiente pra pensar no que eu fiz. Nao cheguei a nenhuma conclusao no final. Como sempre. Mas eu acho que, no final, o saldo foi positivo. Bem positivo.

Voce seria capaz de dizer como voce era no inicio do ano e como voce eh agora? Voce seria capaz de dizer o que mudou em voce? Voce eh a mesma pessoa do inicio de 2005? Aposto que nao. Espero que nao.

Eu nao sou a mesma. Mas isso todo mundo jah sabe. Eu nao sei se, este ano, eu ajudei tantas pessoas quanto eu poderia. Eu nao sei se eu sequei tantas lagrimas quanto eu poderia. Eu nao sei se eu ajudei a trazer tantos sorrisos aos rostos das pessoas quanto eu poderia. Eu ajudei a tornar o mundo um pouco melhor? Eu fiz tudo o que eu poderia ter feito? Eu nao sei.... mas eu vou tentar de novo no ano que vem.... eu vou continuar tentando. Espero que no final o saldo seja positivo.

Este Natal foi um tanto triste pra mim. Foi a primeira vez que eu estive longe da minha familia no natal. Eu meio que "amo o natal".... e, estar longe da minha mae, foi dificil. Eu percebi que a magica do Natal pra mim eh a presenca da minha mae. Este ano o Papai Noel nao veio.... Eu senti saudades de estar em casa, com a minha avoh, irmao, tia, primas, primos, tios... mas tudo bem. Como eu disse, no final, o saldo foi positivo.

Isso eu posso dizer. A proposito, eu passei a noite de Natal na casa de uns amigos e o dia 25 com a minha host family.

E voce, o que voce pode me contar? Como foi o seu Natal? Voce teve tempo pra pensar em alguma coisa mais que nao fosse presentes e ceia de Natal? Ou aonde voce iria depois do Natal? No que voce pensou durante este feriado?

New ideas for the blog ( Novas ideias pro blog)

I went on my bike ride today... finally. After one week without execising, I was in need of some.

It gave me some ideas.... for the blog.
Maybe I shouldn't write only about my feelings. Maybe I should try to write something else, like a text, or so... and as I was riding, I was having ideas, and ideas, and ideas... and the music, the landscape, the happiness to be there, just riding my bike in the sun, started making me have more and more inspiration...

I used to write a lot, some year ago... I have some ideas of texts, but.... well, I am always embarassed to show them to people. As I don't know who sees this page, maybe it will be easier to give vent to my ideas and imagination.... I'm kinda of shy, sometimes, even though it is very hard to believe. But it is true. Some people would never tell that. But there are moments in which I am really shy. But I work hard against it.

Some of the ideas I had: maybe write that story that has been in my head, deep inside it, for some years.... maybe write something related to the Tarot cards... well, it's been a long time i haven't dealt with tarot, but I think i remember something. And, anyway, it's just a story, using the tarot cards as guidelines or titles. hummmm..... i will work on that. It will keep me away from what makes me torn. Like the exercising stuff. Well, just forget it.
Gosh... i don't know.... i'm afraid it is just a lot of crap. Ok. It doesn't matter. Crap or not, I will do it. That's it.

Also, maybe I will tell the story of the Lady of the Lake. Who she is, why I chose this name.... it's interesting. At least for me. Hehehehe


Familia e amigos que nao leem em ingles:

Me desculpem pela minha falta de consideracao com voces. Como eu produzo os textos primeiro em ingles, as vezes me da preguica traduzir. Como agora. Estou morrendo de preguica. Me perdoem. Traduzirei isto depois que a preguica passar, ok?

Amo todos!

News about my trips!!! ( Novidades sobre as minhas viagens!)

Heyyy!!!!!

I have some news!! I would go to Santa Barbara on New Year's Eve. I am not going anymore. Michele F. is coming here. We are going to spend New Year's Eve in Disneyland!!!!! Isn't that great???

And, on Monday (january 2nd), I am going to Los Angeles - alone.... well, I'd better get used to! I will be a backpacker and, so far, I haven't found anybody to go with me! :))
That will be fun.... I will stay in LA for two days and, on Wednesday, I am flying to Chicago, to meet my friend Michele Ryan.

Hehehheee....
That will be a lot of fun.....

So far, that is it.... tell more later.


Eiiii!!!

Eu tenho novidades! Eu iria pra Santa Barbara no Reveillon. Eu nao vou mais. A Michele F. estah vindo pra cah. E nos vamos passar o Ano Novo na Disneylandia! Nao eh demais???

E, na segunda ( 2 de janeiro), eu vou pra Los Angeles - sozinha... bom, eh melhor eu me acostumar! Eu vou ser mochileira e, ateh agora, eu nao encontrei ninguem pra ir comigo!:)) Vai ser divertido...

Eu vou ficar em LA por 2 dias e, na quarta, eu vou voar pra Chicago, para encontrar a minha amiga Michele Ryan.

Hehehhee
Nos vamos nos divertir a beca...

Ateh agora, eh isso.... conto mais depois.

To my father.... ( Para o meu pai)

Father...

I miss you.
It's been 10 years you've gone.


There are things about you that I just can understand a little bit now. Not all, of course. Just some little tiny pieces of memories that I will always carry with me. Little tiny pieces of your personality.




My father left this world at the age of 45.

Pai...

Sinto sua falta.
Jah faz 10 anos que voce partiu.

Ha coisas sobre voce que eu simplesmente soh consigo entender um pouco agora. Nao tudo, claro. Apenas pequeninos pedacinhos de memorias que eu vou sempre carregar comigo. Pequeninos pedacinhos da sua personalidade.

Meu pai partiu deste mundo aos 45 anos de idade.

For a butterfly who is afraid of leaving her "shell" ( Para uma borboleta que tem medo de deixar o casulo)

This is for a butterfly, called Michele Fernanda Zucolota, who is afraid of leaving her "shell", who is afraid of flying....

Mi, leave the shell... fly. Don't be afraid. You are ready to go. Go. Don't go back. Don't turn your back to all you've lived, to all you've experienced. You will have all your life to live it all again. Don't turn your back to this moment.

You're not going to fall. I promise you. I am here. I will be here to catch you when you need. I will be here to help you fly. Don't go back. Don't run away. Don't be afraid.

That is what friends are for. To help you to fly. Keep walking. Don't stop. You have a beautiful way right ahead of you. Follow your destiny.


If you fall, I will be here to help you to stand up again. Open your wings. Fly.

My dear friend, what is yours is yours forever. Nobody will take away from you nothing that is really yours. Never be afraid of that.

I am here. Watching you. Whenever you need help to give one more step, if the steps sometimes are so hard and so painful and so difficult, and maybe you need a ride.... my dear friend, I am here. Let's walk together. Let's go together. When you need some push, I am here to push you. Big sisters.

We have different paths in this world. One is the tree. The other is the leaf. But it doesn't matter. What matters is that you keep this light inside on. Keep it on. Don't forget : I am here. I will come when you need: in spirit, in words, in an unlikely letter. Here I am. There is a reason for everything. There is a reason for you to be here. Don't forget this. Keep on. Don't go back. You must go through this. And you will. Remember: you 're a butterfly. You changed. Transformation. Keep it.

I will be always here to remind you. I will be always here to tell you: " Go! Don't look back! Don't forget all you've worked hard for. All you learned. All you lived. I am here to help you. You are not alone."

You will never be alone again, my sister. I am here, looking at you. Always.

Remember: We will always have San Francisco.

the old wise chinese man and why it is a butterfly and not a dog ( o velho sabio chines and porque eh uma borboleta e nao um cachorro)

There is a story about an old wise Chinese man, who one day had a dream. He dreamed he was a butterfly. But this dream was so real, so real, that when he woke up he didn't know anymore if he was an old wise chinese man who one day dreamed he was a butterfly or if the was a butterfly, dreaming it was an old wise Chinese man.


Sometimes I wonder if what we live is the real reality. Is it? How can we be so sure? If you are immersed in an environment, in a situation, how can you know if that is what that is? I mean, when you are immersed into something, you don't realize other things. And what I sometimes ask myself is: what if this is not what is real? What if ....

I remember the movie Matrix. I always remember this movie when I come to this subject. Of course, I am talking about the first movie. What if, for just a second, your world wasn't what you know? What if, for just a second, you realized that it was all fake? What if, for just a second, all you know disappeared and you were told that it never existed? Is the real really real? Are you sure you're not dreaming?

I don't want to say that I think we live in the same situation as the movie. But, the essence is the same: questioning reality.

This concern about what is real, what is dream, definition of reality, has concerned many men since always.
Ok, let's try to transpose it to "real" life: have you ever had the sensation that something was like a dream? Who dictates the parameters of what is normal, what is crazyness, what is real or non-real?
Who said that? Who dictated the rules?

Everything is in constant transformation. Nothing stays the same. Everything moves.
There comes the butterfly. Why, in this story of the old chinese man, they chose a butterfly as the object of the dream? Couldn't it be a bear or a cat or a dog?
Nope.
It had to be a butterfly.
Why?
Because the butterfly is the symbol of transformation. Life is transformation. Who says he really dreamed? Maybe it was a transformation. Inside.
As the tale talks about what is real and what is not real, a butterfly would be perfect, so it represents the movement of life - things never stay the same. Changes. And, once it changes, what was real is not real anymore. Parameters are broken. The world changes. And, as the world changes, the old truths are being broken. And the concepts of real and non-real are questioned. Like the old chinese did.



Existe uma historia a respeito de um velho sabio chines que um dia teve um sonho. Ele sonhou que ele era uma borboleta. Mas o sonho era tao, mas tao real que, quando ele acordou, ele jah nao sabia se era um sabio chines que tinha sonhado um dia que era uma borboleta, ou se era uma borboleta sonhando que era um sabio chines.

As vezes eu fico imaginando se nos realmente vivemos a realidade. Serah? Como nos podemos ter tanta certeza? Se voce estah imerso em um ambiente, em uma situacao, como eh que voce pode perceber se aquilo eh realmente aquilo? Quero dizer, quando voce estah imerso em algo, voce nao percebe outras coisas. E o que eu as vezes me pergunto eh: e se isto nao for o real? E se....

Eu me lembro do filme Matrix. Eu sempre me lembro deste filme quando o assunto eh esse. Claro que eu estou falando do primeiro filme. E se, por apenas um segundo, o seu mundo nao fosse mais o que voce conhece? E se, por apenas um segundo, voce percebesse que era tudo fajuto, tudo uma mentira? E se, por apenas um segundo, tudo o que voce conhece desaparecesse e te dissessem que aquilo tudo nunca existiu? Eh o real realmente real? Voce tem certeza de que nao estah sonhando?

Eu nao quero dizer que eu acho que nos vivemos na mesma situacao do filme. Mas, a essencia eh a mesma: questionar a realidade.

Esta preocupacao sobre o que eh real, o que eh sonho, definicao de realidade, tem preocupado muitos homens desde sempre. Ok, vamos passar isso pra vida "real" : voce jah teve, alguma vez, a sensacao de que alguma coisa era parecida com um sonho? Quem dita os parametros do que eh normal, do que eh loucura, do que eh real e nao-real? Quem disse isso? Quem fez as regras?

Tudo estah em constante transformacao. Nada permanece igual. Tudo muda. Aqui entra a borboleta. Por que, nesta historia do sabio chines, eles escolheram uma borboleta para ser o objeto do sonho? Nao poderia ser um urso ou um gato ou um cachorro?

Nao. Tinha que ser uma borboleta.

Por que?

Porque a borboleta eh o simbolo da transformacao. A vida eh transformacao. Quem disse que ele realmente sonhou? Talvez fosse uma transformacao. Por dentro. Como o conto fala do que eh real e do que nao eh real, a borboleta se torna perfeita, pois ela representa o movimento da vida - as coisas nunca ficam iguais pra sempre. Mudancas. E, uma vez que uma coisa muda, o que era real antes nao eh real mais. Os parametros sao quebrados. O mundo muda. E, conforme o mundo muda, as antigas verdades vao sendo derrubadas. E os conceitos de real e nao-real comecam a ser questionados. Como o velho chines fez.

Boulevard of Broken Dreams

I don't know what to comment... just the song speaks by itself.... sometimes I am afraid of living in the Boulevard of Broken Dreams.... I don't wanna live there. I want my dreams to be alive . Not gray as this text is. Not broken. That is why I may take the lonely road, if it leads me to my dreams, to what my heart asks for. To try not to end my life living in the Boulevard of Broken Dreams.

Boulevard of Broken Dreams

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone
I walk alone

My shadow are the only one that walks beside me
Myshallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I'll walk alone

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of edge
And where I walk alone

Read between the lines of what's
Fucked up and every thing's all right
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And I walk alone


Eu nao sei o que comentar... a musica fala por si soh.... as vezes eu tenho medo de viver no Boulevard of Broken Dreams ( a rua dos sonhos quebrados, destruidos)... Eu nao quero viver lah. Eu quero que os meus sonhos sejam vivos. Nao cinza como este texto eh. Nao quebrados. Eh por isso que eu vou pela estrada solitaria, se ela me levar aos meus sonhos, ao que o meu coracao pede. Vou tentar nao terminar a minha vida vivendo no Boulevard dos Sonhos Destruidos.

German Language and I, a person as stubborn as a mule ( Lingua Alema e eu, uma pessoa tao teimosa quanto uma mula)

I finally bought my German Language Kit: I bought a kit with 3 cds (it says it is the complete course), a dictionary - English - German,German-English and a Grammar Book. I hope it works! That is going to be my Christmas present for myself. I would buy a make-up kit and some clothes as a present for myself, but I decided that a German course is much better.

I have always wanted to learn German... when I was in Brazil, some years ago, I bought a German Grammar book and I was trying to learn German just by the book. My ex-boss, who was son of Germans said: " Forget it. It's impossible to learn German without a teacher." Well, it is really difficult, mainly because of the pronunciation. But as I am stubborn as a mule, I am going to insist on it.


Eu finalmente comprei o meu kit de Lingua Alema: eu comprei um kit com 3 cds ( ali diz que eh o curso completo), um dicionario Ingles-Alemao, Alemao-Ingles e um livro de gramatica. Eu espero que funcione! Isso vai ser o meu presente de natal pra mim mesma. Eu iria comprar um kit de maquiagem e umas roupas pra mim, mas eu decidi que um curso de alemao seria muito melhor.

Eu sempre quis aprender alemao.... quando eu estava no Brasil, ha uns anos atras, eu comprei um livro de gramatica alema e eu estava tentando aprender alemao apenas atraves do livro. Meu ex-chefe, que era filho de alemaes, disse: " Esquece. Eh impossivel aprender alemao sem um professor". Bom, eh realmente dificil, principalmente por causa da pronuncia. Mas como eu sou teimosa como uma mula, eu decidi insistir na ideia.

To Alan, thank you for everything. ( Para o Alan, obrigada por tudo)

To Alan,

Who is the person that was always there. Thank you. Thank you for everything. Thank you for supporting me at all times, at all moments. Thank you for being the best person that has ever entered my life. Thank you for all.
I will be always grateful to you. Forever. It doesn't matter what the destiny will do of me. It doesn't matter how much I change. It doesn't matter where I go. Where the wind will take me.
I will be always grateful, thankful to you. Thankful for all you've done.

I have no words to express all I feel.

If I am here today, it's because you gave me strenght enough to. If I am here, it's because you supported me, all the time. You were always there for me, it didn't matter what. When I was happy, when I was sad, when I was afraid, when I succeed in anything... in my victories and in my losses. All the time. Always.

If I had the chance to discover myself, it is because you gave me the change to be myself, to try to find myself. You supported me in all my decisions.

Thank you for all. Thank you for being the wonderful human being you are. Thank you for being always there for me. Thank you for being yourself.

There will never be "thank you"s enough to express how grateful I am to you.
Once again and as much as it is possible to be: Thank you.



Para Alan,

Que eh a pessoa que sempre esteve lah. Obrigada. Obrigada por tudo. Obrigada por me dar apoio em todos os momentos, o tempo todo. Obrigada por ser a melhor pessoa que jah entrou na minha vida. Obrigada por tudo.
Eu vou ser sempre grata a voce. Para sempre. Nao importa o que o destino farah de mim. Nao importa o quanto eu mude. Nao importa aonde eu vah. Aonde o vento irah me levar.
Eu serei sempre grata, agradecida a voce. Grata por tudo o que voce fez.

Eu nao tenho palavras pra expressar tudo o que eu sinto.

Se eu estou aqui hoje, eh porque voce me deu forca para. Se eu estou aqui, eh porque voce me deu apoio, o tempo todo. Voce sempre esteve lah pra mim, nao importa o que. Quando eu estava feliz, quando eu estava triste, quando eu estava com medo, quando eu tinha sucesso em alguma coisa... nas minhas vitorias e derrotas. O tempo todo. Sempre.

Se eu tive a chance de me descobrir, eh porque voce me deu a chance de ser eu mesma, de tentar me encontrar. Voce me deu apoio em todas as minhas decisoes.

Obrigada por tudo. Obrigada por ser o ser humano maravilhoso que voce eh. Obrigada por estar sempre lah para mim. Obrigada por voce ser voce.

Nao havera nunca "obrigada"s suficientes pra expressar o quao grata eu sou a voce.
Uma vez mais e quantas mais forem possiveis ser: Obrigada.

Down to the Earth

I feel so damn sad.... today I did something that I just had to do... but it was hard. Damn hard.
Why is it so difficult to do what has to be done?

I feel miserable.
But I finally did the only honorable thing possible to be done in a situation like this... it was hard, though. I could have chosen the easiest way, but the easiest is not always the more dignified one. Sometimes the only exit is the thoughest way.

I am not sure... will I be one day? I don't know.... I just feel like giving vent to my feelings...

I was delaying this... postponing... that wasn't right. This conversation.... oh, Gosh....it was heart breaking! But it had to be done. I would be way too much selfish if I didn't do it.

It was the right thing to do. This is the only consolation for me. I was being weak, postponing this conversation for some time. I am not weak. I don't wanna be. And I am not going to act weakly, cowardly. It hurts, it damn hurts, but it was the right thing to do.

I don't know about my future... my fucking crazy plans.... I don't know if in a year they will still be the same. I don't know. All I know is that, for now, that is what it seems to me that I want. Do I really want them? I don't fucking know... I feel horrible, miserable, sad.... down to the Earth...fuck!

Am I going to realize that happiness was always inside of me, all the time? I am a happy person... but, then... why do I need to go? Why do I need to be the leaf in the wind? Why can't I just be the tree? Why can't I accept it? Why do I have to have this fucking essence inside of me? This inner voice that drives me to directions far away from the ones that really love me... This inner voice that has always been crying, screaming inside of me, begging for FREEDOM. I have always tried to shut this voice up. I have never succeed. It was always there, saying: "Go! Fly! Go where the wind takes you! Go wherever your heart feels like! Have no limits. There are no limits for a free spirit. The world has no borders, no limits, for those who are leaves in the wind. Be a leaf in the wind. Let it blow in your hair, feel it going through your body while you move to another new place, another new people, another new everything. Let your heart speak. Let your soul fly. Hear me: I am your inner voice, the voice of your soul, your spirit, your essence. I am you!"

Please, people, I am not crazy: this voice is just a metaphore for what I feel, for my feelings, ok? Pls, don't think I am crazy!

What happened in San Francisco? Oh, only God knows... I decided for traveling, for backpacking for one year and a half. Yes, I will finish university (one day) .... Yes, I am coming back to Brazil next year. But I will be leaving again in August, 2007. For the world.
(Don't worry, mom: I will come back! Please, don't cry!)

More things changed.... but I don't wanna talk about it.


Eu me sinto tao triste... hoje eu fiz uma coisa que eu simplesmente tinha que fazer. Mas foi muito dificil. Muuuito dificil. Por que eh tao dificil fazer o que deve ser feito? I me sinto pessima. Mas finalmente eu fiz a unica coisa honrada que seria possivel fazer numa situacao como esta... foi dificil, entretanto. Eu poderia ter escolhido o caminho mais facil, mas o caminho mais facil nem sempre eh o mais digno. As vezes a unica saida eh o caminho mais dificil.

Eu nao tenho certeza.... serah que algum dia eu terei? Eu nao sei... eu simplesmente sinto vontade de desabafar....

Eu estava adiando... deixando pra depois... nao estava certo. Esta conversa... oh, meu Deus... foi de cortar o coracao! Mas tinha que ser feita. Eu seria egoista por demais se eu nao tivesse tido essa conversa.

Foi a coisa certa a fazer. Este eh o meu unico consolo. Eu estava sendo fraca, adiando esta conversa por um tempo. Eu nao sou fraca. Eu nao quero ser. E eu nao vou agir de maneira fraca, covarde. Doi, doi pra cacete, mas foi a unica coisa certa a fazer.

Eu nao sei sobre o meu futuro....meus planos pra lah de loucos... eu nao sei se em um ano eles serao ainda os mesmos. Eu nao sei. Tudo o que eu sei eh que, por agora, isso eh o que parece ser para mim o que eu quero fazer. Eu realmente os quero? Eu nao sei... Eu me sinto horrivel, pessima, triste... bem pra baixo.... cacete!

Serah que um dia eu vou perceber que a felicidade estava sempre dentro de mim, o tempo todo? Eu sou uma pessoa feliz... mas, entao... por que eu preciso ir? Por que eu preciso ser a folha ao vento? Por que eu nao posso ser simplesmente a arvore? Por que eu nao posso aceitar essa ideia? Por que eu tenho que ter este maldito sentimento dentro de mim? Esta voz interior que me leva pra direcoes tao longe daqueles que realmente me amam... Esta voz interior que estah sempre chorando, gritando dentro de mim, implorando por LIBERDADE. Eu sempre tentei calar essa voz. Eu nunca consegui. Ela sempre esteve lah, dizendo: " Vai! Voe! Vah aonde o vento te levar! Vah onde quer que o seu coracao queira! Nao tenha limites. Nao ha limites pra um espirito livre. O mundo nao tem fronteiras, limites, para aqueles que sao folhas ao vento. Seja uma folha ao vento. Deixe-o soprar em seus cabelos, sinta-o atravessando o seu corpo enquanto voce se move para mais um novo lugar, mais novas pessoas, mais novo tudo. Deixe o seu coracao falar. Deixe a sua alma voar. Me ouca: Eu sou a sua voz interior, a voz da sua alma, o seu espirito, a sua essencia. Eu sou voce!"

Por favor, gente, eu nao sou louca: esta voz eh apenas uma metafora para o que eu sinto, para os meus sentimentos, ok? Por favor, nao pensem que eu sou louca (esquizofrenica, ou coisa parecida!).

O que aconteceu em San Francisco? Oh, soh Deus sabe... eu decidi por viajar, for fazer mochilao por um ano e meio. Sim, eu vou terminar a faculdade (um dia)... Sim, eu vou voltar pro Brasil no ano que vem. Mas eu vou partir de novo em agosto, 2007. Para o mundo.
(Nao se preocupe, mamae: eu vou voltar! Por favor, nao chore!).

Mais coisas mudaram..... mas eu nao quero falar sobre isso.

To my dear friends from USP ( Para os meus queridos amigos da USP)

Hi, folks!

Today, when I entered my Orkut, I saw a message from Paty... oh, man! How I miss you all! Paty, Roberto, Raimundo, Gui, Vagner, Sheyla, Andreza, Andre, Ricardo, Tati, Manu, Ton.... am I forgetting anybody?

Guys, I really would like to drink a beer with you all, talk in the snack bar... counting carbs and calories with Paty and Ro!!! Oh, man.... remember the day we went to "noitao" ? Hey.... you've gotta do it without me, people! Come on!

And you, Raimundo? Do you still give " Happy Indians Day" to everybody?
Vagner, are you still going to university? Do you show up sometimes? hehehhehee

When I come back, we've gotta go to a bar, eat those wonderful high calories snacks and drink our wonderful beer, which comes always cold!!! Hehhehehe And, of course, talk, talk, talk, talk.....
There is also that project about making our own "noitao", in someone's house, remember? Why don't you get started, guys?

Oh, man.... I miss you all so damn much!!!!

Love you all!



E ai, galera!

Hoje, quando eu abri o meu Orkut, eu vi uma mensagem da Paty.... cara! Como eu sinto falta de todos voces! Paty, Roberto, Raimundo, Gui, Vagner, Sheyla, Andreza, Andre, Ricardo, Tati, Manu, Ton... to esquecendo alguem?

Gente, como eu queria tomar uma breja com todos voces, conversar na lanchonete.... contando carboidratos e calorias com a Paty e o Ro!!! Cara.... lembra do dia em que nos fomos no "noitao" ? Ei... voces tem que fazer isso sem mim, gente! Vamo lah!

E voce, Raimundo? Ainda dah "Feliz Dia do Indio" pra todo mundo?
Vagner, voce ainda vai pra facu? Voce aparece de vez em quando? hehehhehee

Quando eu voltar, nos temos que ir prum boteco, comer aqueles maravilhosos salgadinhos altamente caloricos e beber essa nossa cerveja maravilhosa, que jah vem gelada!!! Hehehhee E, eh claro, conversar, conversar, conversar, conversar...

Tem tambem aquele projeto de fazer um "noitao" nosso, na casa de alguem lembra? Por que voces nao comecam, gente?

Cara... Eu sinto TANTA falta de voces!!!!!

Amo voces todos!!!!

Bushido

The word is " Bushido" - that is going to be my tatoo, one day.

Talk more about it later....


A palavra eh " Bushido" - eh o que serah a minha tatoo, um dia.

Falo mais a respeito numa outra hora...

How I regret for not bringing Jewel from Brazil!!! ( Como eu me arrependo de nao ter trazido a Jewel do Brasil!!!)

Man, I really regret for not bringing my cds from Jewel! I just love that singer! And her lyrics are really nice....and I miss them right now! Some of them talk so much about me!

There is one in which she says that "...nature has a funny way of breaking what does not bend...." - I think it applies to me...

well, there are so many situations in which her lyrics apply.... I think of my life as a movie, with its songtracks and so....

In another post I will tell you about my way of seeing my life....


Cara, como eu me arrependo de nao ter trazido os meus cds da Jewel! Eu simplesmente amo aquela cantora! E as letras dela sao demais... e eu sinto tanta falta delas agora! Algumas delas falam tanto de mim!

Tem uma na qual ela diz: " ... a Natureza tem um jeito estranho de quebrar o que nao se dobra..." - acho que tem a ver comigo....

Bom, tem tantas situacoes em que as musicas dela se aplicam... eu penso na minha vida como um filme, com suas trilhas sonoras e tudo....

Num outro post eu comento sobre a minha maneira de ver o mundo....

Tribute for Sue, Michele Ryan, Michele Fernanda and Flavia - 4 Great Women (Homenagem a Sue, Michele Ryan, Michele F e Flavia - 4 Grandes Mulheres)

Hi, Girls!!! Girls' Talk!!

I can say that I am really blessed. At least in what comes to friends. I am really blessed for having so many good friends. Today the tribute is for two of my American girlfriends and two of my Brazilian girlfriends: Sue, MicheleRyan, Michele Fernanda and Flavia.

Guys, you're just great. What can I say about you three? Gosh....so much! I think I haven't thanked God enough for putting you all in my life. You are just wonderful people. I love you all.

Thank you for all you did, all you have been doing and for all you are.

luv u all!


Oi, meninas! Conversa de meninas!

Eu posso dizer que sou realmente abencoada. Pelo menos no que toca aos amigos. Eu sou realmente abencoada por ter tantos bons amigos. Hoje a homenagem eh para duas das minhas amigas americanas e duas brasileiras: Sue, Michele Ryan, Michele Fernanda e Flavia.

Meninas, voces sao demais. O que eu posso dizer sobre voces tres? Deus... tanto! Acho que eu ainda nao agradeci a Deus o suficiente por por voces em minha vida. Voces sao simplesmente pessoas maravilhosas. Amo voces.

Obrigada por tudo o que voces fizeram, tudo o que tem feito e por tudo o que sao.

Amo voces!

To my friend Roberto.... (ao meu amigo Roberto)

To my friend Roberto, who prefered the old blog because I didn't say in this one what I said in the other: I like you so damn much!!!! We are almost siblings! Luv u, bro!

Ao meu amigo Roberto, que preferiu o antigo blog porque eu nao disse neste aqui o que eu disse no outro: eu te adoro! Nos somos quase irmaos! Te adoro, brother!

Santa Barbara

Some pictures of the night party in Santa Barbara, CA, with my dear friend Michele.

Algumas fotos da balada em Santa Barbara, CA, com a minha querida amiga Michele.

Volunteering work!!! ( trabalho voluntario)

I have been trying to find some volunteering work to do... it's been kinda of hard to find, though.

I want something related to old people, disabled people, orphan children, sick people.... well, the thing is: i just can't find an orphans' home here in the area. I've been trying to find it since october, because I had some projects concerning Christmas... I subscribed myself in a website, offering help for Christmas, but...nothing happened. Nor even a single call!

If someone knows any orphans' home, or a home for old people that don't have families and/or are poor, please, let me know. I want to do something.

I am contacting someone from Hospice here in Orange County. I am waiting for her contact now. She said there will be a trainning course in January in Irvine. I hope I can go, because I work on Mondays and I will start College on Tuesdays... fuck! I will write to her again ( this must be around the 8th or 9th time I write to her about it... I am kinda of embarassed of writing AGAIN!!). But that really excited me. I liked the proposal, the idea.

Hospice is a concept of care. I didn't know about it 'til I found something in the newspaper. Every Friday we get a newspaper with the news from Irvine. And I always take a look at the Volunteering part, to see if someone needs any kind of help in which I can join. And I saw the add for volunteers in the Hospice. I thought it would be any kinda of hospital. And I wrote to her. And she explained it to me and it fascinated me. I really feel like helping on that.

Hospice is a help you give in giving care to the people that have terminal diseases and/or to their families. So you can help them with their errands, when they are taking care of the person or work directly with the person. I want to work with the person. I want this human contact. I want to share love. To give love. I think it must be a nameless good feeling to give love to a person that is about to leave. To care and make this person's life better... I really want to do this work. I am looking forward January to get started. This is so... so much about sharing your love!

Don't you have, sometimes, the sensation that you have way too much love and way too few people to share it with?

I am also trying to get another volunteering work with disabled children. But this is once a month. The hospice care is once a week. But the place I tried to contact hasn't contacted me so far. I am going to try again tomorrow or on Monday.

People, let's help! Let's share ourselves, our love! The more you share, the more you get. Love is endless! You can give, give, give and you'll always have too much for yourself. Love is not made to be kept inside just one's heart. Love was made to be shared. Let's share ourselves!

In the end, that is the only thing that really matters... and that's the only thing that you can carry with you: the love you shared, the tears you helped to dry, the smiles you helped to bring back. The love you planted along your life.

If I can make at least one, one single person's life better, I think my whole existence will have been worth to be lived.



Eu tenho tentado achar um trabalho voluntario pra fazer... mas estah sendo um tanto dificil, entretanto.

Eu quero alguma coisa relacionada com pessoas idosas, pessoas deficientes, criancas orfas, pessoas doentes... bom, eh o seguinte: eu simplesmente nao consigo achar um orfanato aqui na area. Eu venho tentando desde outubro, porque eu tinha alguns projetos referentes ao Natal... eu me inscrevi num website, oferecendo ajuda pro Natal, mas... nada aconteceu. Nem mesmo um simples telefonema!

Se alguem souber de algum orfanato, ou asilo pra pessoas idosas que nao tem familia e/ou sao pobres, me avise. Eu quero fazer alguma coisa.

Eu estou contatando uma pessoa do Hospice aqui em Orange County. Eu estou esperando o contato dela, agora. Ela disse que haverah um treinamento em Janeiro, aqui em Irvine. Eu espero que eu possa ir, porque eu trabalho nas segundas a noite e eu vou comecar a faculdade nas tercas... merda! Eu vou escrever pra ela de novo ( esta deve ser a oitava ou nona vez que eu escrevo pra ela sobre isso.... eu jah estou ficando sem graca de escrever DE NOVO!!). Mas isso me deixou muito animada. Eu gostei da proposta, da ideia.

Hospice eh um conceito de tratamento. Eu nao sabia a respeito ateh eu encontrar algo sobre isso no jornal. Toda sexta chega um jornal com as noticias de Irvine. E eu sempre dou uma olhada na secao de Trabalho Voluntario, pra ver se alguem precisa de algum tipo de ajuda em que eu possa servir. E eu vi o anuncio pedindo voluntarios pro Hospice. Eu pensei que seria algum tipo de hospital. E eu escrevi pra ela. E ela me explicou isso e isso me fascinou. E eu realmente quero ajudar nisso.

Hospice eh uma ajuda que voce dah, cuidando das pessoas que tem doencas terminais e/ou ajudando os familiares. Entao voce pode ajuda-los com as coisinhas do dia-a-dia, quando eles estao cuidando da pessoa ou trabalhar diretamente com a pessoa. Eu quero trabalhar com a pessoa. Eu quero este contato humano. Eu quero repartir o amor. Dar amor. eu acho que deve ser um sentimento tao bom que nem tem nome, dar amor a uma pessoa que estah prestes a partir. Cuidar desta pessoa e fazer da vida dela melhor... Eu realmente quero fazer este trabalho. Eu nao vejo a hora de Janeiro chegar, pra eu poder comecar. Isso eh tao... tao a ver com dividir o seu amor!

Voce nao tem, as vezes, a sensacao de que voce tem amor demais e pessoas de menos com quem dividir esse amor?

Eu tambem estou tentando arrumar um outro trabalho voluntario com criancas deficientes. Mas este eh soh uma vez por mes. O do hospice eh uma vez por semana. Mas o lugar que eu tentei contatar nao me retornou ateh agora. Eu vou tentar de novo amanha ou na segunda.

Gente, vamos ajudar! Vamos compartilhar nos mesmos, o nosso amor! Quanto mais voce dah, mais voce ganha. Amor eh sem fim! Voce pode dar, dar, dar e voce sempre terah muito para si mesmo. O amor nao eh feito pra ser mantido dentro do coracao de uma soh pessoa. O amor foi feito pra ser dividido. Vamos nos doar!

No final, isso eh a unica coisa que realmente importa... e eh a unica coisa que voce pode levar com voce: o amor que voce doou, as lagrimas que voce ajudou a secar, os sorrisos que voce ajudou a trazer de volta. O amor que voce plantou ao longo da sua vida.

Se eu puder fazer, pelo menos a vida de uma, uma pessoa soh que seja, melhor, eu acho que entao toda a minha existencia terah valido a pena ser vivida.

My vacation in Chicago!!! ( Minhas ferias em Chicago)

I am so fucking happy!!!!!

I've just got a message from my dear friend Michele, from St.Louis, that we are going to stay at the Renaissance Hotel!!! Can you believe that? I would never think that one day I would stay there! That 's so cool! And it is near the cool places of Chicago! Man, I can't wait 'til I get to Chicago....! All that blues, all that jazz.....!!! Yuuuuuuuuppiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!

Michele, thank you so very much!!!!!

Eu estou tao feliz!!!!

Eu acabei de receber a mensagem da minha querida amiga Michele, de St.Louis, de que nos vamos ficar no Hotel Renaissance!!!!! Dah pra acreditar? Eu nunca imaginaria que um dia eu iria ficar lah! Eh tao louco!!! E eh perto dos lugares legais de Chicago! Cara, eu nao consigo esperar ateh eu chegar em Chicago...! Todo aquele blues, todo aquele jazz.....!!!!! Yuuuuppppiiiii!!!!

Michele, muitissimo obrigada!!!!

A little more about San Fran

I don't know if I told you already, but I just loved San Francisco.... there I discovered many things about myself and also, I started living the moment, enjoying life at that very moment...
Also, there, I knew that what I always wanted wasn't impossible. I got to know very interesting people, I got to know wonderful people... I got to know things about me...

Those cable cars... those hills....that sea... that atmosphere... the people...everything... I just have wonderful sensations when I think about San Fran...

I can say that I left my heart in San Francisco...

Here are some pictures....

San Fran

I am a leaf in the wind

Another day, I and Michele were talking on the phone about our lives and how everything changed. Better saying, not that things really changed - they were always there. WE decided to hear them now. That is what changed.

My desire for traveling, for freedom, was always inside of me. It is my essence. The thing is, I didn't want to hear it. I wanted to suffocate it... now I think: why? Yeah, I now why...

We were talking about the future... she said what she wants to do... plans continue quite the same, but she is not the same anymore. She is more herself, like I am more myself. We are learning to accept ourselves the way we are.

She is keeping her prime idea... the opposite of me. I totally changed my plans. She will be among hers and she is not going to the world with me. It is a pity. I love her. She is now "my sister". But that the way things are. That the way life is. I told her: " You will always be the tree. You will be the fortress, the strength, where the others can come and find peace and advice. It's inside of you: the beauty and the bright and the spirit. And the strength. People will come to you with tears and fears and you will always be there, for whoever comes."

And I told her: " But, I, I am not the tree... I don't want to have the roots in the same place.... at least not for now.... I am the leaf. I want to be a leaf, and I want the wind to take me wherever it wants to. You will have people coming and going out of your life, like leaves in the wind. I am one of those leaves. But I will come to you once in a while, every time the winds blows to the side of my beloved ones. But I want the world. That is my home. I am a leaf in the wind."

That is the way things are... that is the way life is. Each person has its own way. It's good to discover which is yours. Lov u, my sister. Hope our ways will always be connected.

I want to explode and fall into tiny little rain drops.... (quero explodir e cair numa chuvinha fina...)

This was written on Oct.20th, 2005. From the old blog.

Sometimes my soul expands so much that it seems that it is not even going to fit in my body... it seems it will explode....but it doesn't... and sometimes it gets so small that it seems it is smaller than a head of a pin.... it seems that, all my heart, which was so big and so soft before....now, it gets so small, so tiny.... and there is nobody to come and water it....

Sometimes I want to explode and fall in very little rain drops, like a drizzle....

Sometimes all I want is to be back home, in the world I know, with the old faces and the old habits, e the old streets and the old and delicious food my grandma prepares, and with the fights with my brother and go to the old and small cafe and have some cheese bread.... feel the smell that each place has, doesn't matter if it is good or bad... the smell of the end of the day, the afternoon at my grandma's house... the sensation of arriving at my mom's house... the memories of the lazy saturdays...

I still have the strong memory of my first day in New York.... it is so strange... it looks like two different lives... it doesn't seem they both are the life of the same person... I think I have lived many lives since my plane took off from Cumbica airport... am I still the same person??

Este foi escrito no dia 20 de outubro de 2005. Do antigo blog.

As vezes a minha alma se expande tanto que parece que nem vai caber no peito.... parece que vai estourar....mas nao estoura....e as vezes ela fica tao pequenininha que parece menor q uma cabeca de alfinete.... parece que todo o coracao, que antes era tao grande e tao...fofo, fica tao pequeno, mirradinho.... e nao tem ninguem pra vir rega-lo....

As vezes eu quero explodir e cair numa chuvinha fina......

as vezes eu soh quero estar de volta em casa, no mundo que eu conheco, com as velhas caras e os velhos habitos e as velhas ruas e a velha e deliciosa comida da minha avo e as brigas com o meu irmao e tomar um cafe no bar e comer um pao de queijo.... sentir o ar com o aroma que cada lugar tem, seja bom ou mau..... o aroma de fim de tarde da casa da minha avo.... a sensacao de chegar na casa da minha mae.... a lembranca dos sabados preguicosos com o meu amor....

ainda tenho forte a lembranca do primeiro dia em New York.... eh tao estranho....parecem duas vidas diferentes....nao parece a vida de uma mesma pessoa.... acho q eu tenho vivido varias vidas desde que o meu aviao saiu de Cumbica.... serah que eu ainda sou a mesma pessoa?

Pilgrim - continuation of the previous post

This comes from the old blog.... este vem do antigo blog....

Pilgrim
by Enya

Pilgrim, how you journey
on the road you chose
to find out why the winds die
and where the stories go.
All days come from one day
that you must know,
you cannot change what's over
but only where you go.

One way leads to diamonds,
one way leads to gold,
another leads you only
to everything you're told.
In your heart you wonder
which of these is true;
the road that leads to nowhere,
the road that leads to you.

Will you find the answer
in all you say and do?
Will you find the answer
in you?

Each heart is a pilgrim,
each one wants to know
the reason why the winds die
and where the stories go.
Pilgrim, in your journey
you may travel far,
for pilgrim it's a long way
to find out who you are....

Pilgrim, it's a long way
to find out who you are....

Pilgrim - this is from the old blog - Peregrino ( do antigo blog)

Who never feels like a pilgrim, in an endless journey, going through unknown roads , in a search for itself? Who has never felt lost, confused, with no clue to what path to take and what would be real and true for its own life? Who has never looked for answers out of itself, out of its heart, answers for an emptyness which you don't know where it comes from and that, sometimes, seems to fill your soul, and returned frustrated to the same emptyness 'cause the answers never came?


Quem nao se sente como um peregrino, numa jornada sem fim, por estradas desconhecidas, em busca de si? Quem nunca se sentiu perdido, confuso, sem saber que rumo tomar, o que eh verdadeiro pra sua propria vida? Quem nunca procurou respostas fora de si mesmo, fora do seu coracao, pra um vazio que nao se sabe de onde vem e que, as vezes, enche a sua alma, e retornou frustrado pro proprio vazio porque as respostas nunca chegaram?

This is from my old blog, and it was posted on the 24th of October.

And this is the Lady of the Lake... (it should be the Lady of the Sea....)
Pleased to meet you!


E esta eh a Senhora do Lago... (devia ser a Senhora do Mar....)
Muito prazer!

Still fighting against the blog....

I am still trying to post a picture in this blog... affff... that is hard! Still trying to figure out how to make a "cool" blog... i wish i could post some pictures... this way it would be easier to make people know about what is going on... but, Gosh! I didn't know it was so difficult!!!! I am tired now... I will keep on working on this blog tomorrow... this is a "soap opera" ...!


Eu ainda estou tentando colocar uma foto neste blog...affff... isso eh dificil! Ainda tentando descobrir como fazer um blog "cool".... eu gostaria de postar algumas fotos... dessa forma seria mais facil pro pessoal saber o que estah rolando comigo... mas, cara! Eu nao sabia que era tao dificil!!!! Eu estou cansada agora... vou continuar trabalhando neste blog amanha... isso eh uma novela....

Why I did it again - Por que eu fiz outro de novo?

Why did I do a new blog, if I already had the old one? Well, many, many reasons... one of them is that I didn't like the provider of the old one. This one seems to work better.

The main reason: I decided to make something more serious this time. To really share my views and the way I see the world. And my experiences far from home.

This was inspired by a very sweet and cute website I got to know these days.... a website which talked about a traveler's life, adventures and the places visited. That inspired me. For you, the person that created that website, thank you! You inspired me to take my blog more seriously - now I want to use this virtual diary to share experiences and thoughts and the way I see it with all my friends and family and beloved ones!

Thank you!

Versao em Portugues:

Por que fazer um novo blog, se eu jah tinha um outro? Bom, muitas, muitas razoes... uma delas eh que eu nao gostava do provedor do outro blog. Este parece ser bem melhor.

A razao principal: eu decidi levar a serio desta vez. Realmente dividir as minhas visoes e a maneira como eu vejo o mundo. E as minhas experiencias longe de casa.

Este blog foi inspirado por um lindo e fofo website que eu conheci estes dias... um website que falava a respeito da vida de um viajante, suas aventuras e os lugares visitados. Aquilo me inspirou. Para voce, a pessoa que criou o website, muito obrigada! Voce me inspirou a levar o meu blog mais a serio - agora eu quero usar este diario virtual para dividir experiencias e pensamentos e a maneira como eu vejo as coisas com todos os amigos, familia e pessoas queridas.

Muito obrigada!