Weird girl visits the fairies land

weird girl
spoke to the air
ghosts were her friends
and she called bugs
fairies

weird girl
liked playing with the fire
one day she got caught
in an ugly disaster

weird girl
looked then really strange
the other kids in the school
didn't think she was cool
and wanted her
to be changed

weird girl
got really sad
and nothing her mom said
could ever get her back

weird girl
got then a pair of knives
one for bread
for the butter
one for meat
one for her

and the girl-suicide
provoked a unlikely tide
of people crying
for her dying.

Hide and seek

One, two,three
where are you?
One, two, three
I'm coming soon
One, two, three
Don't hide from me

one two three
are you on the tree?
one two three
are you inside here?
one two three
coming to you
soon

you can't hide
'cause i see all
i see where you are
and your mama
your papa
your sister
and your brother


one two three
is it in here?
one two three
it's getting chilli
one two three

here i go
down the hill
in the house
in the room
in your room
where are you?
come, come,
i know where you are

don't go far
i'm just behind you
can't you hear my breathing?
can't you feel in the air
near your back
don't you hide
i'm right behind you

i see your brother
in the dark
under the bed
just by the sheet
come, come,
from where you are
because
here am i

i see your sister
hidden in the kitchen
just by the oven
it's getting warm
it's getting hot
come, come
here i am

i see your mama
hiding in the bath tub
just in the water
come, come
you can't turn
here i am

i see your papa
in the closet
just by the gun
come, come
don't you run
because
here i am

i see you
just in front of me
turn around
in the dark
can't you see?

one two three
here
am
i

out from africa

PS: this short story that I wrote is intentionally written incorrectly. It is my intention not to capitalize or use proper English, due to the nature of my character.


so one day i waked up in a big boat, sailing through all that blue, with the chill breeze coming on my face...

i had no clue. what was all that blue? i later discovered that they called it ocean. all that weird people.... with funny things at them heads and strange ways to cover them bodies....

i looked around and up above and down and around again. wood. dark and dirty. the sky was blue, like all that water around. where was everybody that i knew? who was this people? and they speaked in a funny way. i didn't understood shit.

someone yelled at i. i didn't know it was at i, at first, but then he kicked i and gave i a thing, wet, and a bowl with water. i still had no clue. the thing was a wood stick with some hair in the bottom, but its hair was different from mine. well, everything was different from i. i was very confused.

the man got very nervous and yelled even more. another man, shorter and older, told he something and then he showed i what he wanted i to do: he wanted i to dip the funny stick into the bowl of water and to rub it on the floor. it didn't really clean it, but it looked less dirty.

so, not knowing what was going on, i decided to do it. i don't like when other yell at i and i didn't want the discolored man to yell again.

while doing it, i was trying to understand what that was. it seemed like a boat, like those i and my friends used to use to cross the river. but this one was much much more big. well, there was much, much more water, too.

i wonder if i had too much of the herb and now was just dreaming. or maybe the gods was mad at i. i just couldn't remember how i ended up there. i wasn't scared. but i had never saw so many ugly people. their hairs was strange.... more long than mine. and they was straight. they must have some illness, because them skin didn't have any color. i hope i don't get it from them.

i didn't know for how long i should do that cleaning. i also didn't know how to ask. when i tried to ask one young discolored boy, he looked at I and made some sound that i didn't understood. then i tried again. he just walked away. i think he was laughing. or not. i don't know. he didn't open him mouth very much. at first, i didn't understand. but then i saw some of they didn't have their teeth. or, if they had it, they was very ugly. yeah. they was very ugly. i hoped i woke up from the dream soon. i promised i would be more careful with the herb.

then i saw some of them getting together. they had a big fat closed wooden bowl. and they opened it, and a liquid come out of it. was that bowl giving? hey, they was drinking it! then i decided to come close and see it better. i got worried about they.

i said, "hey, don't drink it! it can be bad!", but they looked at i and laughed. i tried again, this time miming. then them really laughed. one of they grabbed i and forced i under the bowl's thing. i started struggling and trying to scape. now i was scared! i didn't want to drink no bowl's thing! they forced i to open my mouth and another of them opened the thing. i just closed my eyes and .... ops! i couldn't stop coughing. i was choking!
but, after a little, i stopped coughing. they was looking at i. i looked at they. it felt good! i liked the bowl's thing. then i wanted some more - i turned around and opened the bowl and drunk a lot of the thing! the men started to laugh at i and i hearded them saying something like "rum! rum! rum!". i thought that the name of the thing was rum.

after some time, things was funny. i was feeling very funny. everything was dancing around i and i was very dizzy. i laid down on the floor and looked up the sky. there was a black thing, hanging on the big stick, in the middle of the big boat. the black thing seemed the same kind as their clothes. but very black, with a white drawing in the middle. i didn't know what that was.

the night came in and they gived me food. and funny clothes. and i saw that they had funny shiny sticks on they. next day i learned what the stick did. they had a fight between two discolored men and one stuck the stick in the other and they throwed the dead in the sea. so now i knew what the stick was for.

the days was passing and i was learning to hear some words. they was very angry sometimes. but sometimes they maked i laugh. but sometimes, at night, i wondered about my home. and my friends. and my mama. and my papa. that was being a very long dream, if it was a dream. but i didn't think it was a herb dream no more. i think i was punished for something. they took i away from my home and i didn't know why or how. i totally forgot what happened.

after some days, i learned a word, "aye!". the first time i repeated, the young boy laughed. and then i saw he didn't have some of this teeth. i think "aye" was good. at least, "aye" was more good to say. i learned that, if i didn't say "aye" and did something that they pointed to me, they hitted i and pushed i into the dark room, under the boat. there were others there, but they were old and sick and didn't want to have talk with i. i was strong and i think that is why they wanted i on top, working. more good for i.

one day, i didn't want to do anything. i was feeling sick. and i didn't said 'aye'. and they grabbed i, and wrapped i in rope and maked i walk on a wooden board, almost falling into the ocean. i started to cry and say 'aye!aye!aye!'. they laughed and bringed i back to the boat. i was shaking and very sad. and very angry, too. but i did what they wanted i to do.

another day, i was cleaning fish to eat and i hearded a terrible sound. i thinked that it was the gods that was nervous with we. some of the other men cooking with i took their shiny sticks out and went out to the ship top. some laid down on the floor. i didn't know what to do. i thinked about going out to beg the gods to forgive i and not kill i.
i went out and there was a big, big boat, throwing big black balls at us! one big black ball passed very near i and i was shaking and peeing in my pants. i was crying and scared. the mens were running and throwing back other black balls. that was where the big awful sounds came from!
i crawled under a counter and tried to stay very quiet. but then some of the other mens of the other boat, getted into our boat and started fighting. i was very very scared.

then one of them saw i. i tried to run, but he came after i. he had one of those sticks. i grabbed one from someone that was dead and i fought. i killed that man. i was afraid. and then other men came to kill i. i used the shiny stick a lot. but then one of them stuck the stick into my arm and i let my stick fall. when he was about to kill i, another of them men came and told my killer something and they didn't kill i. they wrapped i in rope and one of them men was tooking care of i. my boat lost the fight. a lot was dead and the ones that was alive, was wrapped in rope like i. they took us to the other boat.

i was in the dark room for a long time, with chains on my wrists and foots. i was very sad. i was sad because i didn't like no kill. i didn't like blood. i was very peaceful and i didn't understand why i was there and why i had to kill those mens. i was crying.

in this boat, they gived i food, but the food was very bad. it was more bad than the other boat. but it wasn't for a long time. one day, the boat stopped. and they took i out. my eyes was hurting with the light.
they forced i to walk in this strange place. the people was wearing strange clothes. but they had more color on their skin. but not as beautiful as i. the place was full of big houses, round on the top, full of yellow rocks, and the men had funny clothes on them heads. i was very confused again.

it was very hot. and they taked us to a very big and open place. and the place was full of other people. and they were all very different in color, faces, hairs and clothes. i was very curious. what was that?

they lined us and maked us walk to a higher wood floor, where they showed us to the people. they was screaming things that i didn't understand. one by one, they took all of us to that higher place and the mens was screaming. and then one man would come up and give the man that took us there some shiny round pieces of rock. some silver, some golden.

then they took i.

The New Atheism

Ok. So I was reading this article about the New Atheism, and I just have to drop a few words here about it. Couldn't pass this subject without making my own point, right? ;)

First of all, I believe in respect. We should respect other people's beliefs, being them ridiculous to us or not. I know it sounds funny talking about respect and referring to them this way, but I am not a hypocrite either. That is what you think sometimes when you're faced with a belief that makes no sense to you, even if you deny it.

I don't know where I am positioned now. But it's definitely an uncomfortable position, whatever it is. I have my spiritualist believes, which in moments of despair were all that I had. But also I have my passion for science,logic and my need for explanations. I believe that everything in the natural world has a scientific explanation. But, on the other hand, what is the exact extension of the natural world? I mean, when I think "natural world", what am I really referring to? I try to find more explanations.
Is it whatever it is touchable, concrete? Is it so absurd to believe in what science can't prove or disprove? Doesn't doubt give the right to believe or disbelieve, being it in the same proportion, 50 to 50%? Since you can't prove or disprove....

Does it make any difference, believing or disbelieving, or the existence of God or not? Shouldn't we be moved to good actions motivated just by noble feelings, rather than by fear of God or next life? But, if the fear of God or next life is the only or, at least, the strongest motivation to work on being good to the others, isn't it worthy to respect or have?
It might not be the noblest of the motivations, but isn't it worthy and, paraphrasing Machiavelli, "the ends justify the means" (well, I don't know if in English that is how it was quoted,but...), in the meaning of doing good? I want to make clear that I am questioning the use of the ends to justify the means in the case of doing good to the others.

Anyways, some of the New Atheists believe that you should attack faith, whatever faith it is, with the same non-tolerance of the fundamentalists believers. For me, that is bullshit. For me, they are just doing the exact same thing they disapprove: the blind belief in something that can't be proven or disproven. This is the essence of all the bloody wars human mankind has seen: the intolerance and disrespect for what it is not your own belief.

I agree with the scientific thought, scientific methods, but since they can't prove or disprove God and other life, how can the new atheists be so sure that everybody else that believes is so wrong? On the other hand, I also agree that people shouldn't be afraid of expressing their faith or lack of. And they shouldn't be disrespected for it - neither Atheists, or Christians or Jews, or Muslims or whatever it is. By doing so, the New Atheists are being the subject of their own reproval.

The Ceremony

Wedding of Michelle and Matt

Saturday, 16th of June 2007

in Laguna Beach, CA

Introduction

Celebrant : Welcome, everyone! Thank you all for being here. Matt and Michelle are very excited you are with them on their wedding day! We are all together in this special place to celebrate the love and relationship of these two very special people.

Matt and Michelle, all these people care very deeply about you. They not only offer you love and friendship, but they are there to encourage and support the love that has grown between you. In our presence, you will declare your love to each other. You will make promises to begin this new journey together. This is the start of your new life, from where you will begin to share your home, your future, and your dreams, with each other.

Couple's Story

Celebrant: Believe it or not, if it wasn't for the internet, Matt and Michelle may have never met. Matt says he just had to try and connect with a girl as beautiful as Michelle, and Michelle remembers how intrigued she was by what she read on Matt's online profile. These two actually only wrote emails to each other in the beginning. Michelle says she "just loved the way he wrote: so open, so clear - it seemed to (her) that (she) could read him by the way he used the words".

About a month later, on December 27th, Michelle and Matt spoke on the phone together for the first time. They went out on their first date on January 3rd. It took Michelle two and a half hours to get ready because she says she was so anxious. They went to an Italian restaurant, where they were the only two people. And they talked and talked.

Matt says he thinks he fell in love with Michelle just a few weeks later. He can't point to an exact moment, but he knew how right it felt to be with her. He says he had never met anyone with such a unique nature. He loves how Michelle looks at the world differently, and he loves her detailed perception of things. He is also struck by how Michelle really cares about this world and the people in it.

On their third date, it was too cold to play chess on the beach, so they went to a wine bar instead, and that's where Matt told her he wanted to see her exclusively. Michelle says it is a little hard to define when exactly she fell in love with Matt, but she remembers how every single moment of that day is so bright in her memory and makes her so happy that she thinks it was right then.

Vows

Celebrant: Now, please hold hands and look into each other's eyes.

Matt, Michelle loves how you are so trustworthy, so honest and so talented. She loves your sarcasm and your sense of humor, and how you make her feel like being a better person each day. She says how she loves everything about you, including your flaws. And now Michelle will express her love to you in her own words.

Michelle:

Matt,

Today we are starting a new journey together. Wherever it will take us, I want to help you to make it long and beautiful, full of love, understanding, honesty and respect.

I love you deeply and I want to share with you what I am and the life that lies ahead of me.

You are my four seasons and I hope I can bring to your life the light you brought to mine.

You are my summer, brightening my days with your warm hugs, blue eyes, love, laughs, your jokes. You are happiness.

You are my spring, helping me to blossom and grow into a better person everyday; you are the love that nurtures.

You are my fall, teaching me to mature, to let go, to forgive. You teach me to adapt and change, keeping my true colors strong with your strength. You are forgiveness and generosity.

You are my winter, being hard on my lack of focus, blowing cold on my face to teach me courage, strenght and perseverance to reach for my dreams. You are discipline, courage and truth.

With my heart, I promise you I will do my best to be for you the love, understanding and respect that you are for me.

And with my honor, I promise you my loyalty and honesty, always.

I love you more than anything and I wish to be your wife, for as long as we are on this earth.

Celebrant: Michelle, Matt loves that everything you do and say is performed with love and care. He loves the deep discussions you have with one another, and wants to travel and experience new things with you. He says he loves laughing when you curse in English and when both your words are lost in translation. He laughs, when you laugh. And now Matt will express his love to you in his own words.

Matt: (Matt created his vows at the moment of the ceremony, saying that he wanted to be Michelle's husband and that he loved her more than anything. He also said more beautiful things about his feelings toward her and how he also grows with her).

Ring vows

Celebrant: Throughout history, a wedding ring has served different functions. Rings are exchanged as gifts, and symbolize pledges of faithfulness and trust. The circle on the finger represents unity, and marks eternity, with no beginning and no end. Matt and Michelle will now place a ring on each other's finger as a reminder of the promises they have made to each other today.

Matt: Michelle, I give you this ring. It is a symbol of my unending love, loyalty and respect.

Michelle: Matt, I give you this ring. It is a symbol of my unending love, loyalty and respect.

Conclusion

Celebrant: Michelle and Matt, to end this ceremony, listen closely to this Native American blessing from the Apache tribe.

" Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other.

Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth for the other.

Now there will be no loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other.

Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you.

May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead and through all the years.

May happiness be your companion and your days together be good and long upon the Earth."

" Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves.

When frustration, difficulties and fear assail your relationship, as they threaten all relationships at one time or another,

remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part which seems wrong.

In this way, you can ride out the storms when clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives - remembering that even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there.

And if each of you take responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight."

It is a tremendous honor, as a Celebrant and officiant of the State of California, to announce, for the very first time as husband and wife: ladies and gentlemen,

Mrs. and Mr. Michelle and Matthew Mocarski!

Please, kiss!

So, I'm back!

So, I am back! =)

Re-starting my blog with the start of my new life with my beloved husband.

Let's keep on blogging! =)

My wedding vows to my beloved Matthew

Matt,

Today we are starting a new journey together. Wherever it will take us, I want to help you to make it long and beautiful, full of love, understanding, honesty and respect.
I love you deeply and I want to share with you what I am and the life that lies ahead of me.

You are my four seasons and I hope I can bring to your life the light you brought to mine.

you are my summer, brightening my days with your warm hugs, love, laughs, your jokes. You are happiness.

you are my spring, helping me to blossom and grow into a better person everyday; you are love that nurtures.

you are my fall, teaching me to mature, to let go, to forgive. You teach me to adapt and
change, keeping my true colors strong with your strength. You are forgiveness and generosity.

you are my winter, being hard on my lack of focus, blowing cold on my face to teach me courage,
strenght and perseverance to reach for my dreams. You are discipline and truth.

With my heart, I promise you I will do my best to be for you the love, understanding and respect that you are for me.

And with my honor, I promise you my loyalty and honesty, always.

I love you more than anything and I wish to be your wife, for as long as we are on this earth.